I just got back from seeing the re-release of Jurassic Park. I remember seeing it in theaters as a kid and it was great to see it on the big screen. The 3D effects were generally very well-done.
However, what I did not like was the incredibly gratuitous and out-of-place Doritos™ product placement. I understand that Doritos sponsored the film and expected some advertising out of the deal but in my opinion it really went too far. For example:
- Every instance of food in the film has been replaced with Doritos. The park chef prepares for the group a meal of “Chilean Sea Bass flavored Doritos;” Hammond sits in the dining hall and eats piles of Doritos because “they were melting;” the rippling glass of water has been replaced with a rattling bowl of Doritos.
- Dr. Grant is no longer a paleontologist. He is now something called a “flavorologist,” and Hammond lures him to the island with the promise of an exciting new snack chip that’s “totally rad.”
- In perhaps the most egregious example, Dr. Malcolm’s iconic line, “Life finds a way,” has been replaced with “Frito-Lay has found a way… to pack even more nacho cheese flavor into every chip.”
Perhaps I am just getting older, but I feel like these changes really went against the original spirit of the film. If you agree, you may be better off waiting for the re-re-release in twenty years, on hologram or Super-DVD.
Living in New York.
IT’S THE BABY AGAIN! BABY MCSCROOGE WON’T LEAVE MY DASHBOARD ALONE!!
There is something that I’ve noticed about jaywalking busy intersections which I call “The Sidewalk Suicide Pact.” Pedestrians are stranded on either side of the street, cemented in place by the glaring red hand of the crosswalk light. The road seems clear-ish, but they can see that cars are coming, and that though there MIGHT be enough time to scurry across, there is also a chance that they will miscalculate the distance/speed, and will hugely inconvenience some driver when they splatter across his windshield.
The side-walked citizens are uncertain,”Should I risk dying if it means being able to buy a hot dog from a street vendor two minutes sooner? Am I going to die from eating the hot dog anyways?” Nobody on either side of the street is making a move, and meanwhile, the scurrying-across window is quickly closing.
When it seems like everyone is just going to wait an extra thirty seconds, some people make quick eye contact from across the street, in which they essentially have the following silent conversation: ”I’ll go if you go/they can’t kill all of us/that’s a nice sweater you’re wearing/why thank you, I bought it on sale.”
Once it is decided that everyone is going to go for it, both sides flood the crosswalk, as the person in the car that they’re blocking is thinking, “man, if I were to hit one or two of them, it would be okay, and I’d be able to drive to the hot dog place sooner, but I don’t think I could forgive myself if I hit three strollers worth of babies.”
Classic man vs. steel/a metaphorical proletariat revolution of sorts in action.